okay this is my mature post.
after blog hopping.
honestly, we tell ourselves, its okay to be fat.
but im being a fckg hypocrite.
cos i've had a fair share of bad experiences myself.
i used to be so obssessed and desperate after breaking up with mrf.
yes i never been single for that long actually.
and so far, i only have had one REAL relationship.
yes my first real one.
anywho, i had many bad experiences.
th dude ignores me after meeting me,
th dude PRETENDS not to see me, though i clearly see him.
th dude acts all nice and after that just totally ignore me.
th dude just fckg ignores me after i tell him my weight.
you know what dudes out there, i dont tell you my real weight.
cos' i wanna see are you a typical boy, or a real man.
of course, the normal reaction will be.
"you should exercise everyday."
"eat one meal a day."
"you should do running and a lot of jumping and sit-ups."
i swear i am SERIOUSLY sick of this shit.
so now, my aim is to lose weight by 11.11.2009.
i don't wanna give two hoots even if exams are coming.
it's just one day.
people always go why are birthdays so special.
idk, i just feel a year more mature.
like, a new year resolution is born.
y'know what i mean?
i won't speak in detail of my bad experiences here.
talk to me if you wanna know more.
i'm sure you'll have a way.

i come from the most shit ass family.
stop asking me to hang out.
cos i can't.
i don't wanna meet any new people till 11.11.2009.
apart from the usuals.
i can't be bothered with having friends.
who's there when i need one the most?
i can't be bothered bout why people hate me.
it's like, why the hell do i wanna do shit to impress you?
i wanna lose weight cos' i have zero confidence.
i can't take the criticisms or stares anymore.
those who are not skinny reading this would know what i mean.
i'm not a strong person.
i can't take this.
i give in to pressure too easily.
i won't find love.
i want love to find me.
i won't rush into any relationships.
and yes, i do have a lot of guy friends.
but not close guy friends.
well little real girl friends.
ah whatever.
kthxbye.