heartless boys with no balls = _|_

FNE & FARH. return me what's mine.
why do you not show me respect.
who are you to make me feel this way.
am i that dead to you?
you took what's mine and you have no intentions of returning it back.
why the fuck? i have no clue.
what must i do to make ya'll give me back my things?
i'll delete everything that's related to you.
i'll burn it if i have to. just please return me my money and things.
yeh im materialistic, yeh im money minded.
satisfied?
you treat me as if i dont exist.
you make me feel so worthless, so much like a nobody.
you make me cry all the time and you still continue ignoring me.
i told you i'll leave you alone, remember?
just give me back my things ffs, please.

" Yes you are fat. You eat what you want yet you're complaining.
Thats why guys avoid you. You complain too much when you have everything and are too freaky for girlfriend or even friend material.
I guess thats why maarof left you.
Friends come after exams for you but whatever so yeah. "

-fannie / wana/ kiddie / gabbie dropkick\gore

thanks a million.
i thank god we are over.
sooner or later, you'd have shot me with a real fucking gun.

URGENT

next week onwards;

THURSD: 4 pm to 9 pm
FRID: 1 pm to 5 pm // 8 pm to 10+ pm
SATURD: 3 pm to 10+pm
SUND: 10 am to 8 pm
(my free days)

i reeallly need help in POA, physics chemistry combine and maybe literature/social studies
i am in need of serious help in these subjects.
anyone willing to tutor me till end of that O level paper?
pretty please.
pm me.
msn: marshmellowsmyhero@live.com

i made two new friends :3
i'm sorry babycakes, i doubt i can break fast with you,
though i really wanna.
i'll bake you yummy coconut cupcakes,
and we'll go shopping and guy hunting in less than two months (Y)
i am bored in arts room.
and i have to finish up by tomorrow.
i'm skipping all night classes this week.
and i've been looking for company for dinner, no kidding.
okthxbye.

why the hell do you enjoy making me cry.
am i a joke to you all?
why must you toy with my feeings?
do you realise how badly your actions hurt me?
saying fuck you won't mean a thing.
cos' it doesn't affect you.
cos' i'm a fucking nobody to you.

true enough, i have been trying to avoid the truth.
i kept telling myself, 'he still likes me, i know he does'
after what julie told me, i called, you answered.
you sounded as if i'm a nobody to you.
you couldn't reply any of my messages.
but you could go to bugis.
why the hell are you doing this to me?
you tried making me feel guilty, you tried implying i'm at fault.
i knew well enough what you were doing,
but i chose to ignore it.
because i still liked you.
and i liked that you still liked me.
how fucking stupid i was.

i don't wanna say i hate you,
cos' my reasons are stupid.
you don't like me, who am i to say anything.
i can't force you.
but i hate you enough, because you toyed with my feelings.
just cause i am FAT, i don't deserve fucking respect?
just cause i am FAT, you can treat me this way?

you ain't the first guy who has ever done this to me.
i swear if i add up in total all the stmf and those who made me feel this way because i am FAT,
it can reach up to more than 50.

cause i am FAT, i am treated like a clown.
cause i am FAT, i am dissed.
cause i am FAT, guys try getting RID of me after meeting me?
cause i am fat cause i am fat cause i am fat.

you know what, you have made me cry for the last time.
i am not ready for any fucking guys.
cause they are all just a bunch of fucking liars.
they love saying "OH LOOKS DON'T MATTER, I ONLY GO FOR THE HEART"
who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid?
who the fuck do you think you are?
what is with that fucking like?
a big FUCK YOU to all ASSHOLES out there.
i know i'm not mature enough cos' i'm blogging this way.
and you know what, i have every fucking right to,
cos' i'm only 16 and i know shit about love.
wait, IT DONT FUCKING EXIST.
to all BOYS with no fucking balls out there, stay away, get lost, go burn your sausages for all the shit i care.
it's cause of people like YOU,
people like ME go anoerexic, bullimic, taking slimming pills, and kill themselves slowly and painfully, if i had a choice, i would extinguish people like you, i will make ya'll pay every single dime for the shit you made girls go through.
i've deleted 90% of the dudes in my contact list.
it's a start.
people like you make me feel fuckd all over.
add on to my parents and friends and fucking problems.
committing suicide would be nothing.
if you're pissed about this post, text me personally.

fcuk you and your rubbish, seriously.

meeting julie in ten:3

im with sibelly now.

weeee.

okay bubyeee. :D

J, i read your blog all the time, and i don't know if you still read mine. But i'm just really curious, did i do something to offend you? the day we were supposed to go out, you told me you couldn't cos' you had work, on a sat. the next day or so, i read your blog and you went out with gang instead. well actually on fri i was talking to S and he said you asked him out for karaoke when you told me you had work. We were supposed to meet up from 2.30-4.30 ish at town yst. though it's short, i still wanted to meet you cos' i missed you. but you text me that same night, saying you can't make it, don't ask why. i just read your blog and you seemed to have had so much fun with zee. i'm not being some bitch here and blaming you for choosing close ones over me. but why can't you just tell me you don't wanna hang out. you wanna hang with the gang. i wouldn't get all pissed. i'll understand. but you cancelling on me giving me reasons that seems untrue. like wth? if you read this, please text me or something. or else, just forget it.

KINDNESS

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness
as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow
as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
cathces the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness
that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into
the day to mail letter and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

- Naomi Shbab Nye

miss singapore can't speak properly, wtf.
i was blog hopping and came across this blog.
yeh the video appeared a lot of times in stomp but i couldn't be bothered to watch.
so since my boredom shot through the sky, i decided to click play.
i couldn't believe what i was hearing.
a big w.t.f

i want my indiesin goods and my 10 bucks and i'll disappear.
you make me feel so fuckd up all over again

you came back. but you're not you anymore :/

blogger takes damn ass long.
screw you b.


i have zero clue why you treat me this way, please tell me at least.
ok, even if you don't wanna see me, just give me a damn good reason. tell me what i did wrong.
why the hell make me feel this way?
am i some joke to you?
whatever it is, i still want my indiesin goods back. you make me feel so fucked up all over again.

i know im being very drama mama.
and i'll stop everything.
i'll stop asking you out,
i'll stop texting you,
i'll just ask from you when my parcel arrives.
when hopefully you will tell me about it.
and i'll visit you at your work cos' i wanna do shopping too.
thanks for yesterday.
i know you had your reasons.
but i'm just done with this social bullshit.

i spent 20bucks at starfucks for two consecutive days.
dharshy, you have seriously got to stop eating calories.
yes, eat those killer calories and say byebye to your fckg efforts.
okay, no more starb till 11november!:D
annnnd, i am still looking for a study buddy.
one who's free like nobody's business.
especially on weekends, and willing to concentrate.

subjects i take:
1. engrish.
2. e maths.
3. accounts.
4. phychem comb.
5. lit elect & ss.
6. arts.
7. cheenoneh.
okay number 6&7 is helpless.
i needa study 2-5.
anyone?
PUHLEESE.
i'm THAT desperate now.
well actually, the only study buddy i have is dyan.
but we can only study on sundays from 10-3/4, but only chemistry.
well we don't actually.
HAHAHAH.
don't we dyan C:
i have HAVE to score,
L1R4: 12/>
L1R5: 15/>
well this is like the typical standard everyone sets for themselves.
i actually have an interest in going to JC.
but my parents think im nuts.
they even discourage me ):

reasons i don't wanna go to poly:
1. ite students wanna go to poly,
2. poly students wanna go to poly,
3. jc students CHOSE to go to poly.
(where doest that leave me >:)
4. i don't like the nearby polys.
5. it is a dog eat cat world.
6. the course i want is only available in one school.
7. i don't know what other courses i want.
8. the chances of me going to university is 1/100
reasons i WANT to go to poly:
1. its spells freedommm.
2. i can go home late >:)
3. i can have more friends C:
4. i can wear WHATEVER i want.
5. i can even have a big huge septum and the lecturers can't do anything.

reasons i WANT to go to JC:
1. I WANNA GO TO UNI.
2. so 30% of jc students can go.
3. i don't have to worry about what to wear and what people will think if i wear this or that.
reasons i DONT WANT to go to JC:
1. i have to look like a nerd.
2. it's a higher level of secondary.
3. i enjoy the studying, i just can't concentrate.
4. if i don't go to uni, i am only left with a O level cert.
5. it's stress as hell.


i am very happy too cos' i am anticipating TOMORROW:D
see you tomo baby <:


i know i always use the word 'hate' but i don't mean it.
i only hate one person now.
well she just disgusts me.
and all those minahs&mats/bengs&lians.
i can't be bothered.
i just don't like them.
i don't hate them.
and concepts.
whats with that maaanszxzxzx.


okay little india, here i come :D

YA IM A LOSER.
i admit it.
i'm not afraid of denying it.
i know i have the guts to.
even my mom thinks i'm a social disaster.
no i am not kidding you.

mom: where are you, who are you with? what time you coming back?
me: starbucks, around 10 ish. i'm studying alone.
mom: alone? serious?
me: yes.
mom: *long pause* oh. seriously alone?
me: yes, why?
mom: nothing *sad tone*

everyday i'm sitting at starbucks alone, and people ask me.
"why you dont ask your friends to accompany you?"
my ans: "i don't have friends willing to come here just to accompany me"
what more do you want me to say?
now you wonder why i'm always so DEPRESSED and EMO and whatever shit you can come up with.
i know everyone's busy.
but don't give me excuses.
you wanna lie, LIE PROPERLY.
i don't need your pity either.
so you can shove it up yours.
everyone's always telling me it's normal.
cos' i'm going through o levels and shit like that.
i'm not that dumb, seriously.
i also hate it when people ask me out, and they don't reply me.
like, they just give me brief details, and suddenly avoid me.
like wtf dudes. why the hell ask me out when you don't even take me seriously.
im so assed up because i don't have my cigarettes.
and this special someone doesn't seem to know i exist.
either that or he just can't be bothered with me.
i know i'm annoying, and i know you know it too.
and since you do know, don't bother making friends with me and just avoid me after that.
cos' it makes me sick.

my main point of this damn post?
i just feel like taking a gun and shoot those ungrateful sweet talker motherfuckers.
i don't need YOU kinda friends.
im not saying im lonely to the extent that i have zero friends.
i have real friends that i can actually count with my fingers and toes.
like, why the hell is it so hard just to get the smallest thing that i want.
you may think i complain a lot, well that's cause i can't think properly.
you know what, _|_

I AM IN ART ROOM NOW.
i feel seriously immature and childish.
like wth,
DHARSH, GROW UP!