YA IM A LOSER.
i admit it.
i'm not afraid of denying it.
i know i have the guts to.
even my mom thinks i'm a social disaster.
no i am not kidding you.

mom: where are you, who are you with? what time you coming back?
me: starbucks, around 10 ish. i'm studying alone.
mom: alone? serious?
me: yes.
mom: *long pause* oh. seriously alone?
me: yes, why?
mom: nothing *sad tone*

everyday i'm sitting at starbucks alone, and people ask me.
"why you dont ask your friends to accompany you?"
my ans: "i don't have friends willing to come here just to accompany me"
what more do you want me to say?
now you wonder why i'm always so DEPRESSED and EMO and whatever shit you can come up with.
i know everyone's busy.
but don't give me excuses.
you wanna lie, LIE PROPERLY.
i don't need your pity either.
so you can shove it up yours.
everyone's always telling me it's normal.
cos' i'm going through o levels and shit like that.
i'm not that dumb, seriously.
i also hate it when people ask me out, and they don't reply me.
like, they just give me brief details, and suddenly avoid me.
like wtf dudes. why the hell ask me out when you don't even take me seriously.
im so assed up because i don't have my cigarettes.
and this special someone doesn't seem to know i exist.
either that or he just can't be bothered with me.
i know i'm annoying, and i know you know it too.
and since you do know, don't bother making friends with me and just avoid me after that.
cos' it makes me sick.

my main point of this damn post?
i just feel like taking a gun and shoot those ungrateful sweet talker motherfuckers.
i don't need YOU kinda friends.
im not saying im lonely to the extent that i have zero friends.
i have real friends that i can actually count with my fingers and toes.
like, why the hell is it so hard just to get the smallest thing that i want.
you may think i complain a lot, well that's cause i can't think properly.
you know what, _|_