to QAM & MARK.
i know how terrible you both feel right now.
i felt it before.
and the stupid things i did after that was just, MEGA STUPID.
and i swear i regret every one bit of it.
thinking back now, i realised it was what i knew then, to be Love.
i thought He was My Love.
and i Loved him.
so when he wasn't mine, and he left me for some other girl, i felt sad.
coz in my mind, all i ever wanted was him.
and to me, HE WAS MINE.
it's like.
why does he get My Love?
or
what does he have that i don't?
or
what makes her fall for him so badly?

you can't force love.
if you can't have her now, it's just not meant to be.
you have to face that reality.
you can't blame her for not choosing you,
neither can you blame yourself for her not choosing you.

you feel fucked all over again.
this isn't the first time.
yet you're going through it again, and again.
and each time it just hurts more.
SUCK UP TO IT.
that's your only option.
though many small tiny things remind you of her, think about other things/people it reminds you of.
DO NOT try not to think of her.
coz in the end you're still thinking of her.
keep yourself very busy.
another way, just cry it out.
even if you have to every single night.
it really helps.

but whatever it is, DO NOT do stupid things.
for example, drinking and smoking like crazy coz you think it's a form of distraction or getting drunk brings you away from reality.
ok yes it does, but for how long?
and you're just gonna end up feeling so much more worst.

as a (new)friend, i'm here to advice and help (:
if you both ever need someone to talk to, i'm like always online.
Qam, though i just added you a few hours ago, i know what you're going through.
i won't say 'cheer up' or, 'she's not worth your time'
coz idk about how worth she is of your time.
but personally i hate it when people say 'cheer up'
you're at your ends, and someone tells you to 'cheer up'
it's just far from possible.