read my msn nick.

i AM very sad.

yst i came home late.

i was supposed to go for choir bbq.

anw, my mom thought i was lying.

which is true.

she kept questioning&questioning.

i know yst, everything IS/was my fault.

i'm really sorry mama.

last night, i thought alot.

too much i think till i cried at th thought of my parents.

i notice how sad or irritated my mom gets when she talks to me

when my parents talk to my sister

they'll call her "darling&sweetheart"

those words you would wanna hear from your parents.

when they talk to me, they would call me "ae or oi"

or nothing at all,&they'll start scolding me

i feel as if they dont want to have me as a daughter

like they were forced to bring me up.

i just feel so darn hurt&hated.

i even forgot how my parents looked when they smiled.

i have never seen them smile for a super long time.

this morning, actually every morning. i would hear

them laughing with my sister together.

&when they came into my room,

they wouldn't care if i was sleeping or not

they would just talking as loud as they wanted

as if i was invisible&start banging stuff here&there.

they would even shout for my maid when im sleeping

in tht room.

when i am with them,

i fear of getting scolded every single minute.

i mean which daughter would be scared of being alone

with both or either of their parents.

even if we have nothing to talk about.

my parents will suddenly talk about something

that they know they can shoot me.

i just wna feel fcking LOVED by my parents.

is tht so fckig hard to ask for?

no matter what i do,

i try to talk to them every single day of my damn life.

but in th end we'll end up quarrelling&

it'll only make matters worst.

i try pouring my heart out to them

but than my mom will go like

"you're only fourteen, you can't be

this or that."

or

"you're only fourteen, you dont

know anything.blablabla"

im treated like a fcking paria!

however you spell that;

having parents&NOT having parents

i dont see a fcking difference.

if i was going for th damn trip,

i would have ran away from home

&never came back.

i wonder how they'll feel than

I HATE MY PARENTS!!!