MAMA

im sorry for everything i said.

you prob have read my blog alr.

sigh, firstly.

i would love to apologise.

youre not a bitch.

i don not hate you.

i love you.

im the bitch.

everytime, i say words outta anger.

i know i would nvr ever say " i hate you " & actually mean it.

if i did.

i'd just be effin stupid.

im sorry for alw hurting your feelings.

im sorry for every shit i did.

i hv serious anger problems.

i really do.

you said you dont believe me just cus' im only 15.

i really love you.

w/o you, i wouldnt even exist.

you always take all the blame from papa for what me & che che do.

you take the worst pain in this whole family.

you do everything you think is best for us,

but yet,

we throw our temper at you.

we throw our evil deeds at you.

in the end, you still accept our nonsense.

all the nonsense a mother should never live to take.

mama, i really love you.

you probably would read my blog everyday.

im sorry for saying bad stuff about you.

you dont make my life a living hell.

i make yours a living hell.

please forgive me.

i really love you.

everyday, i think to myself.

what if you & papa divorce.

what about cheche & i ?

who will go with who ?

every night when i think about this, i cry, alot.

i dont wanna loose neither of you.

the reason i hv all this thinking is because,

you & papa fight every single day.

well practically every single day.

about cheche & me.

mostly about me.

i know im a big disappointment to my parents.

sigh,

im probably the worst child.

but still, you take all my crap.

i seriously cant imagine my life w/o you.

i dont wanna cry.

i wanna stop crying.

typing out this post, makes me cry.

it really does.

theres so much more i wish to say.

but i just dont know how to express it.

mama, i love you too much.

bigger than anything.

you are my mother,

i will never hate you.

no many times i say tht.

i dont mean it.

i know my english isnt tht good.

my vocab is as small as a rat now.

but all i want you to know is,

I LOVE YOU MAMA.