big hunormous painful sincere remorseful sorry.

firstly, yst was prob one of the worst days of my life.
mom found out about my tongue piercing.
yes she walked away when she saw it after whacking me on my arm.
alot of drama took place.
i couldnt take it out cus' the ball bearing was too tight.
cried like a mad dog in the car.
she too cried.
than, all my wrong doings slapped me in the face.
she told dad.
he even wanted me to get a haircut.
of course, my phone was taken away.
so, i quietly took out my septum & naval.
byebye.
i promised her i wont disfigure my body anymore.
& this time, im meaning it.
im really really sorry i did all tht to you.
in the car, i finally understood the pain you were going through.
im sorry for being such a terrible daughter you would call a delinquent.
i even tried running away when she stopped at a&e.
than she called me to stop.
i felt like just killing myself!
i hated myself BEYOND HATE.
sigh.
now, i just cant wait for everything to subside,
& i get my phone back.
i really felt like running away.
right now, i have to make myself hate piercings.
idk how, but i eventually will.
God save me, im begging you. D:
right now, mom thinks im crazy & of course,
she's talking behind my back to allll my relatives.
saying what an evil child i am.
how rebelious i am.
how crazy i am.
what the fuck can i do. (:


MA'AROF.
im sorry D:
please forgive me.
im sorry for hurting you so much.
i really dunno what to say.
i still have yet to call you.
sigh.
mom's taking leave tmr & wed.
fuckit.
i really want you to understand what im going through.
im sorry D:
sigh!
idk what the hell im even doing now D:
im really sorry i cant text.
goodbye, (L)

{edited;}

im giving up on life.

im giving up on DREAMS.

im giving up on what i want.

im giving up on my family.

im giving up on studies.

im giving up on love.

im giving up completely.

im throwing away my dignity.

(if i actually had any)

i want to receive surprises on my birthday.

what happened to love letters, scented with perfume.

& pretty sunflowers?

or rare black roses.

what happened to whispers of i-love-yous.

what happened to hand-made gifts of love?

what happened to the oldies?