right now i jus feel like leaving class and going to spent time with mom. but she dont like spending time with me, sigh. all i want is someone to love me. a mother to love me. i crave for this feeling. whenever i'm having my red flag, i start thinking more than i usually do. i feel more bitchy than i usually do. i feel the need to go out more and stay out late, dress up and take many many pictures. i wanna find a real proper book to read with the company of starbucks. i wanna party all night long and go for house parties, or sit outside 313 and people watch. okay all these are actually things i wanna do with/without red flag. hahahahahahaha. surprisingly, i'm not missing E*. maybe it is because of what happened last night? B told me something very important.

He's not even your boyfriend.

Means i have no right to feel pissed or angry or disappointed, right? Right. I don't wanna think of what's going to happen on Saturday night. i'm just going early, be happy and get out.