idk why i get impatient easily.
i was terrible to linli today.
and im waiting for a reply.
perhaps a call?
i finally have a crush.
and i have not stopped smiling since youknowwhen.
i wanna go back to youknowwhen i redo things in a nicer way.
when will that faithful date come.
when i can call you my "date".
i really would like that.
and hugs too.
and long bus rides.
it's only been a very short time.
but i can't stop my fingers from typing.
you won't know cos' you're hardly ever online/don't know my blog.
but still, i want the world to know.
dharshy marshmellow is feeling very, very happy :3

i missed anberlin.
but i watched the dude from fountains of wayne.
and i got to meet etc.
i love etc.

so i went to study with dyan, f*, and taufiq.
met with dyan first, we were supposed to do chemistry and i kept talking about physics especially since he wasn't taking physics. well not purposely o'course.
than f* came along.
i was smiling to myself the whole time.
so we went to teh outside place at rp.
it was pretty nice (:
we couldn't really study.
so we went to fetch taufiq and bought fooooood.
i didn't like the sausage bun but it was the only thing i could find thats nice enough.
HAHAHAHAH.
so we went back to teh place.
talked a lot.
studied, minimal.
than dyan left to hang out with friends & baybeats.
so it was the three little pigs.
actually one pig two ducks.
HAHAHAH, ducks aren't fat.
they're adorable.
we talked, smoked.
and f* went to colour the cigarette with highlighter.
i didn't dare to smoke cause it was burning.
but i did (du-h)
than i said " i wanna do dreadlocks after o's"
they both just stared a while and i bent down.
taufiq was like "eh let me see, i wanna picture you with dread locks"
"no you don't suit"
HAHAHAHAH, whatever i still wanna try.
so he left to meet his friend cos' she wanted to repair her phone at bishan.
and he forgot his calc.
f* told me some stuff to rekindle the past.
awwwwww. (:
he still keeps the stuff i gave him!
*smiles*
so we went for dinner and pastamania.
he ordered carbonara(i think that's how you spell it) and i had teh soup.
expensive puhleese.
"the expensive kinda fast food"- F*
so tau came back for his calc.
he never brought his, friend. C:
and we took 169.
and F* and i played the stupidity game.
he got like 40% dumb -.-
i got 100%.
and tau got 50%/75% dumb cos he spoiled one question.
and we were laughing our asses off while tau was listening to his mp3/phone.
i was seriously super happy that time. C:
he played with me this game. super funny and he played with tau too.
taufiq, you're the first guy (Y)
and we walked around northpoint and i bought them both friendship band.
now we three same (ah)!
than tau left to change, but went to baybeats after that.
F* accompanied me home.
and apparently he knows the dude i like and i know the girl he likes :3
and we finish the KERETEK(however you spell it)
HAHAHAH.
i won't take any from you anymore sweettea. :]

i'm really bored. yeh i've been saying that much lesser actually.
i planned on going to LJS again to study literature, with the company of F/S.
well they both said they can't last minute.
sigh.
i am still in search of company.
so if you would love to bitch with me(i love bitching), please come to LJS, northpoint on weekdays.
tyvm.


than there's love.
people go through so much shit just cause of this thing called love.
i don't entirely believe it's true.
well the only two couples that really makes me feel as if LOVE is true,
is Ju&Ze and Pr&Ro.
HAHAH, idk if ya'll still read my blog.
but still, both you couples have been together and going strong.
i know it isn't all a lie.
cos' i see with my own pair of eyes, when you both are together.
even if it's just for a few mere minutes.
i just see that happiness ya'll share.
it's like you both are in your own perfect world.
and yes i'm envious. but what to do. HAHAH.
another reason why i don't believe in love, is cos',
i doubt it ever happened to me.
because is a long time thing.
and i have never loved anyone for more than half a year.
and people always think they're in love,
but it turns out it's just a lie.

girls, when a guy doesn't show you his real self, he tries to follow that 'guy trend'.
do what other guys do when it comes to so called love, it means there's nothing.
most guys have egos bigger than their heads.
MOST, i emphasise most.
and when their ego steps in, just walk away.
cos' it's no use holding on anymore.
been there, done that.
don't ever, ever put your hopes so high on a guy.
cos' they end up crushing them so hard you wish they(boys) were crucified.
they dont' even realise that hideous crime they did.
cos' their egos are eating them alive.
on the contrary, don't let their innocence fool you.
don't take them for granted.
that's the most important.
lotsa girls take their oh-so-perfect boyfriend for granted,
they regret it big ass time.
bigger than bigmomma'sass.
honey don't make that same mistake.
you can never turn back time.
the guilt will engulf you.
i know of friends who mistreat their boyfriends.
well take them for granted.
so much so that they are losing them(guys) without knowing it.
1.don't put studies before boyfriends.
2.don't put single on your networking sites(boyfriends hate that, makes them feel like some doll for you to play with)
3.don't forget those monthsaries(though guys are usually the one forgetting em)
4.never try hiding your boyfriend from the world.
5.show them that they're special, but not in an obsessive way.
6.if he doesn't reply/contact you. just back off if you know he has no reasons to be busy.
7.NEVER LOVE A GUY SO MUCH, if you know, that he don't feel the same way. never assume, never let down your guard.

guys, if your girlfriend/crush/date give you that youre-just-some-mutt-i-don't-need-you act, just ditch them. they are just using you. don't be blinded by love. cos' if you're that lucky, than you're just wasting your life away. you're intentionally letting your life go down the drain. it's not an act, it's not a lie.
there's girls like this out there.
always always give your girlfriends a second/third/fourth/max fifth chance.
by that time, if they still make the mistake, they don't really love you the way you think they love you.
if she lied to you, find out why she lied. never make assumptions.
if you see her making out with some other guy, than walk up to her, let her know you saw everything. let her feel the guilt she deserves. tell her straight in the face. how you feel. and walk away.
don't hide behind a wall and become unnoticeable. be a MAN.
don't be a softie. don't be a boy.
if you found a new love, don't be afraid to fall in love again.
always know, that she is NOT your ex.
she is not the one who lied, who backstabbed, who twotimed, who cheated on you.
she is NOT that bitch.
she is another girl, who feels the same way you do.
don't push her buttons.
don't go overboard.
don't talk about the way your past ex girlfriends treated you.
cos' SHE IS NOT THEM.
and THEY ARE NOT HER.
do let her know she is important.
not to the extent of obsessiveness.
do let her trust you.
there must always be trust.
don't hide things from her.
it can be the tinyest, but it'll mean the world to her.
shower her with random gifts.
don't hide her from the world.

no i didn't get all this from anywhere.
and this is just a bit of what i know and what i can say.
can't believe i took so long to type this.

to lovers out there, please make sure there is trust before anything starts.
even in a friendship, there must be trust, lest the friendship is FAKE.
same goes for a relationship.
most important thing, build the trust.
don't try hiding anything, cos' in the end the truth always comes out.
like it or not, it's called karma.

I WANNA WEEEEE.

the only time i said i was sxe was to this girl, who's some bloody arrogant dude now, cos' i thought she was my best friend.
well i said it in a HAHAH way cos' i didn't drink/smoke at that point of time.
i didn't even say it as if OH IM A SERIOUS SXE KID.
and she took it so seriously, she went telling everyone.
wow. not a shocker.
nah i just wanted to clear something up.
i hate people bullshiting about me without getting the facts right first.
if you don't remember it, don't open your mouth just to get the attention.
seriously makes me sick to the core dude.

readers, how do you feel about people, no, strangers, bitching about you?
would you sit around? and not do anything? and let the person talk bullshit bout you?
or would you talk to that person?
and ask that person to shut up?

if you just lost a best friend, and you hate her so much, yet you still cared for her.
yes contradicting, i know.
and you told her something that you think she should know.
but she told you, GO TO HELL YOU FUCKING BITCH.
after shit loads of swearing and cursing like a monkey.
how would you feel?
yeh you probably think, why the hell should you even care.
she's just a crazy bitch who accuses you of shit.
i don't know why i do that either.

Dad's in the ICU.
He can barely breathe.
All i can do is sit around and do nothing.
Especially since i'm having prelims now.
And i end late.
How pathetic of me.
God is seriously being too unfair.
I just need a talking on the phone buddy.

it's called karma, bitch <:

things to do.
1. run at least 5 times a week
(possibility level 7.5/10)

2. lose 20 kg by 11.10
(possibility level 5/10)

3. dont become so clingy
(possibility level 4.9/10)

4. solve my own problems without telling anyone
(possibility level 6.7/10)

5. study on mondays, wednesdays, fridays, saturdays, sundays till 9.40 earliest
(possibility level 8.9/10)

6. eat healthy
(possibility level 8.7/10)

7. don't fall for hot malay guys with big eyes and very mature so easily
(possibility level 0.1/10)


8. skip dinner
(possibility level 5.1/10)
((if i sleep straight away after coming home))

i want a close close guy friend, one like dyan. who can bitch about girls or haters or anyone i want. and wont mind my freaky-ness. yes guys reject/avoid/runaway from me cos number 1, I AM FAT. number 2, i am wierd.
its hard to have a girl best/close friend, cos they end up hurting each other, and becoming the biggest emotional drama war. and in the end, you have no one to turn to. cause the two main people you always depend on most, will always be the one who ends up hurting you the most.
and i always complain a lot, i know. that's cause i feel so GAHHHH! prelims is in less than 2 days, o levels is in less than idontknow how many days, and my birthday is in less than 51 days.
51=20??? (some might know what it means)
and i have so so much problems regarding beings around me.
and i know i seem to be the most procrastinating iwontshuddup complaining bitch but i need to say it out or i won't be alive today.
and im tired of saying shit that don't happen.
this 51=20 thing MUST happen!
and i feel its just damn stupid to smoke.
the only reason i smoke is cause im hungry(51=20) and i need something to distract my mind, that cooling feeling helps me relax and take problems & studies away. Yes i do drink WINE, cause i love wine. what's wrong with drinking wine at home? now i find it pointless for me bragging that imma drink after o's. whythefuck do i even say that. alcohol taste wierd for people like me. but wine dont:3
im just feeling seriously AHH yet ahhh (:
i do not believe in love / forevers but i think i like someone.
okay people, see me after my birthday, big transformation okehhhh C:

anyone wanna study with me NOW?
text me/msn me.



PS:// if you're gonna bitch about this, please go to hell, to anyone who hates me and read this blog.

hey,I DID NOT MENTION YOUR NAME IN MY BLOG. WHY SHOULD YOU? AND I DID NOT SAY IM NOT CONTRADICTING. I SAID IM NOT SO CONTRADICTING AS YOU.AND LET ME FUCKING PROVE TO YOU ME AND YAT WILL LAST LONGER THAN THIS WORLD AND WE WILL SHOVE THE FUCKING TRUTH UP YOUR PATHETIC GODDAMN ASS.ME A POSEUR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I'VE NEVER LABELLED MYSELF AND YOU DID. WHO IS THE POSEUR SHIT ONE HERE? WORSE STILL, I'VE NEVER LABELLED MYSELF AND TELL EVERYONE IM THIS OR THAT, BITCH.YOUU GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS RIGHT.I STOOD UP FOR YOU WHEN PEOPLE BRING YOU DOWN LIKE THE FAT THINGY. I TRIED MY HARDEST TO ASSURE YOU YOU'RE NOT FAT BUT DUE TO YOUR FUCKING BITCHY ATTITUDE, YOU SAY YOU ARE.YOU TREATED YAT LIKE A FUCKING DOG. HE TOLD ME SO. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO THREATEN HIM IF HE DIDNT RETURN YOUR BLOODY MONEY? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? YOU THINK WE'RE SCARED OF YOU? OH FUCK NO. EVEN IF YOU CALLED THE POLICE WE HAVE OUR REASONS.AND WE REALLY DO HAVE A FINE TO PAY. FUCK YOU AND SUCK YOUR FAT DADS DICK IF YOU DONT FUCKING BELIEVE. AND YAT HASNT BEEN GIVING YOU BLOODY EXCUSES ABOUT EVERYTHING.FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BELIEFS. FUCK JESUS FUCK PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ARE SO FUCKING TYPICAL AND JUDGEMENTAL ABOUT EVERYONE.LASTLY, FUCK OFF AND GO DIE FAT BITCH.The fat bitch only refers to you, not to anyone else
-my obsessed stalker.


well well, look who's talking.
i am not gonna steep to your level, and entertain your bullshit.
i am not going to conform to your being, just to satisfy your sadistic cravings.
you're a obsessed psycho, and i won't give a damn anymore.
why should i get irritated by you?
you mean nothing to me.
you can never be anyone's best friend cause all you do is force them to be yours,
but in that process, you're just pushing them away, cause no one wants to be forced.
they'll slowly become your substitute.
if you had a boyfriend, i sure would sympathize with the new best friend.
hate me all you want.
and now, i know why zee loaths you.
i know you have zero originality and all you do is steal things/words/friends/guys/lovers/EVERYTHING from people.
go ahead.
:3
youre just one of those psycho's who read this blog.

yay i got a C6 for chinese:3

FANNIE/GABBIE/KIDDIE/WHAT FUCK YOUR SCENE NAME IS, FUCK OFF.
GO SHOVE YOUR BLOODY CRITICISMS UP YOUR HUGE VAGINA.
LEAVE ME ALONE!

YOU'RE NOT CONTRADICTING?
WHO THE HELL YOU TRYING TO KID?
YOU SAY YOU KNOW ME FOR TWO YEARS?
ARE YOU SURE?
YOU DONT KNOW ME AT ALL.
YEH I HAVE FLAWS, WHO DONT?
YOU THINK YOURE MISS PERFECT?
BITCH IM NOT GONNA BE SO FCKING IMMATURE LIKE YOU TO BLOG BOUT YOU.
IF YOU WANT ME TO, I WILL.
TRUST ME, I HAVE MUCH MORE THINGS TO SAY,
MUCH MORE FOR PEOPLE TO SERIOUSLY HATE YOU.
I'LL TELL PEOPLE WHO'S THE BIGGER LIAR, POSEUR, SHIT LKE THAT.
AND GET YOUR FCKG FACTS RIGHT FIRST,
DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID, DON'T WRITE ANYTHING.
PEOPLE WHO READ YOUR BLOG CAN HATE ME FOR SHIT I CARE.
BUT I KNOW PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW ME WILL THINK YOU'RE JUST SOME SERIOUS OBSESSED PSYCHO WHO CANT GET OVER HERSELF.
I KNOW YOU HATE ME CAUSE YOURE LONELY NOW, VERY LONELY, APART FROM YAT.
I CAN BET YOU YOUR LIFE YOUR NEXT SO CALLED "BFF" WON'T LAST MORE THAN HALF A YEAR.
SO READ THIS, F.U.C.K O.F.F!

prelims, piano practical exam, art deadline.

i need help. okay, i dont. im gonna handle this allll on my own.
see my heading?
yes, all that in two weeks.

MONDAY
0430-0530 running.
1430-1630 arts.
1700-183o piano t.

TUESDAY
0430-0530 running.
1430-1715 arts.
1830- chinatown. #

WEDNESDAY
0430-0530 running.
0600-0615 piano.
1430-1730 arts.
1900-2030 social studies.*

THURSDAY
0430-0530 running.
0600-0615 piano.
1430-1830 arts.
1900-2100 maths t.

FRIDAY
0430-0530 running.
0600-0615 piano.
1300-1630 arts.
1730-1925 english t.~

SATURDAY
0830-0845 piano.
1000-1200 chinatown. #
1400-1600 chemistry.*
1630-1830/1700-1900 physics.*
1900-2100/1930-2130 maths*/accounts*

SUNDAY
1000-1400 chemistry w/ dyan.*
1500-1630 physics.*
1700/1800-1900 social studies.*/maths.*/accounts.*


#- don't ask me why.
~- i really need at least a talking/texting buddy. end of the day i feel very tired and i need someone to talk to ):
*- please join in if you want to (:
- idk how long i can take this. i really don't. i can't even find a proper study buddy. i just pray i don't pick up old habits. ahhhh fuck.

1. i have to stop thinking about GOING OUT/ WATCHING MOVIE, red lips and piercings, tattoos and weed.
2. i have to concentrate on studies for the last few months, and on losing weight.

SIGH

MUST GO!
:D
kthxbye.

hello arts room.

i like dates :3

yes that smile i got from herman my crabbyyyy <:

eh sunday still on!
my phone is dead.

come on people, letes study and hang out and picnic.

like how often do i get such freedom??

and for those who wanna hang out after o's.

text muaaa (:

and today i sent less than 20 text messages.

SHOCKING.

17 days ish left till dead line for art o levels.

completion: 1/3

booya.

O LEVEL STUDENTS! lets study my nerds (:

venue: republic poly(woodlands)

time: 1030 @ yishun station,

1100 @ woodlands station.

date: 16.08.09 (sunday)

if ya'll interested, please text me asap, or dyan disgourge <3

yes we can have a picnic tooo (:

confirm by friday night!

love, your friendly friend,

dharshy the dork.

i give up on love and forevers.

they dont fckg exist.

stop convicing yourself it does, bitch.

my birthday, here i come.

people, be prepared to see the new dharshy.

read this and get it into your head.
you're mean, and selfish, and insensitive, and bloody arrogant.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
i don't need you to keep telling me you're gonna delete me and shit like that.
stop saying "i don't know who you are" cos you damn well do.
try as you might, you can't forget me.
if you don't know me why keep contacting me?
you tell me not to text you, and you don't wanna waste your money on a dumbfck like me?
looks who's talking bitch.
i didn't text you, you text me.
i didn't disturb you, you disturb me.
and you can even tell me not to blog about you?
dude you blog bout shit and you tell people "it's my blog and i say whatever i want"
now i'm telling you this.
i have nothing to do with you.
don't bother coming to my blog.
i don't give a shit what people say about us or you or i.
cos' i know damn well what you did to me.
i'm sick of you.
just fuck off and leave me alone bitch.

i like boys with afro/curly/dreadlocks/half-shaved heads.
(L)

i have a lot to say but i think i forgot everything.
i cant wait to lose effin weight so i can be happy on my bday (:
to f, stop acting like you don't know me.
you aren't the only one in so much pain.
so stop giving me that fake crap.
you haven't changed since we broke up.
it shows how little i mean to you.
continue doing what you always do to yat.
we'll see what happens end of the year.

i've given up on love,
and i've given up on having a best friend.
well actually i like(d) someone who's attached.
yes, i must stop it.
anyone want me to do signs;D

and it's not too late to ask me out for the after o levels period now (:
i made new friends, and lost old ones.
ehy why must social problems affect my bloody o levels.

my parents are discouraging me from going to JC.
and they're epic bipolar.
text me someone.
okaythxbye.

we're over.
yes im the bitch here.
bye, period.