MONOTONOUS.

i'm used to the fact that people hide things from me.
i'm tired of over-reacting.
& i love french toast. (L)

To : Dharsh sweetheart
Dharsh cupcakes, I sincerely apologize abt the last 28 hours ago.. i didnt manage to reply ur msgs or pick up ur calls..i received 19 miss calls and several messages after i get down the bike.. i knw ur really disappointed..sad, cheerless, dejected..=\.. i'm really sorrie..='\...


Tdy i knw u felt shitty coz of something.. i'm really trying my best.. i did promise you to ask you out.. that day will come soon.. im serious.. but i just need you to understand of what im going through right now.. i'm really trying my best to make time... schedules are hectic.. i just want you to knw that, no matter how busy i am, i'll still be thinking of you.. even if i dont reply ur msgs for some reasons, i do still have you in my mind.. pls trust me.. I really like you and i'm gonna show the world how much you mean to me.. Please stick with me cupcakes, please.. i'm really sorrie for the absence of attention this few weeks.. pls remember that ur in my heart sweetie.. even my friends knw that i like you alot..& i just want you to knw that i'm starting to like you more and more everyday.. those acts u play just to get my attention, really awakens me.. i will try my best.. I promise.. Please wait for me, and dont leave me.. ='\.. I need you cupcakes..! ='(





i felt beyond contented reading this.
my heart melted.
babe, im sorry for the way i always act.
every single night.
xoxo's

dabelew tee eff.

seriously cant believe guys these days.
if you're attached, just admit it.
don't lie, even when the truth is laid on for you on the table.
moreover, you choose to cheat on another girl's feelings.
wake up, seriously.


yesterday was fun.
met belle and afee and went somewhat, job hunting.
made with love didn't call us back ):
but Helga seemed nice.
Belle love, don't worry. i'll always be there for you.
you've got two rebounds >:)
but seriously, think of what i said.
ily to bits and pieces (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFEE.

to Y ♥

read this, read this clearly.
stop judging me.
stop assuming what im thinking, what my type is.
i like you, the end, full stop.
i have no idea why you like doing what you do to me.
it's not funny, it just makes me feel much worst.
fcuk my type, they dont exist.
only in my head, yes.
what must i say for you to stop treating me this way.
you're giving me false hope over and over again.
yeh this is fcuking karma, but im living with it.
you say you dont wanna scratch my feelings one bit.
right now, youre not scratching it, your disfiguring it.
you dont wanna ask me out, you dont wanna talk to me over the phone.
i do stupid things just to get your attention, but that never is enough.
what must i do please tell me.
im going on my knees and begging,
stop treating me this way.
i've secretly liked you for the longest time.
i really do not know what you want me to do anymore ):

cosmoprof, here i come.
maxim, wait for me baby.

attitude reconstruction surgery.

something is seriously wrong with me.
dammit why the hell such bloody angst.
syaz im sorry.
let's forget the whole thing ok?
and D's right, i give people false hopes.
sigh ):
i wish i could just turn lesbo now and go into hiding.
no, i'm not running away from my problems.
i'm just, putting everything on hold.
again,
syaz sweetie, im sorry.

& sibel, thankyou for yesterday.
xoxo's

sigh

yes there is many things bothering me.
but idk who to tell.
i wanna have a two piece acoustic band, where i sing, and he plays.
well he can be anyone.
if it's a she there'd be drama bloody drama.
sigh ):
maybe im gonna have another acoustic band.
well i kinda had one, but we just never called ourselves an acoustic band.
damn.

& joe, sorry i cant go for your gig today, you have fun.

hello world

i met up with syaz and joe and don yesterday.
it was nice (:
JOE IS DAMN SKINNYYY.
cannot poke, ohmygosh.
and don likes to stone a lot.
today another jamming session.
syaz darling, its ok.
we dont hate you, dont quit the band.

oh, and i failed my grade 8 practical exam.
so now, i have to retake my grade 8 prac and grade 6 theory.
wtf D:





and, fad hon, if i work at the zoo. im gonna give you a biiiig hug.
and you'll smell of monkey poo:D

and, i just found out syaz's birthday is on the 10th of october.
dabelew tee eff, cool shit or what??

dreamy

i want you to give me a bouqet of roses or better still, a sunflower.
i want you to serenade me with the guitar.
i want you to whisper sweet 'i love you' randomly.
i want you to give me the biggest and tightest hug everytime we meet.
i want you to hug me when im feeling sad.
i want you to call me sweet names everytime we talk.
i want you to be clingy, to show you still care.
i want you to plan dates and give me surprises from time to time.
i want you to say yes without being reluctant when i ask for a favour.
i want you to give me wet kisses from time to time.
i want you to hug me in front of your friends and let the world know you like me.
i want you to talk to me over the phone every night without me asking.
i want you to want me like i want you, but even more.
i want you to be very honest with me.
i want you to give me a sense of security and trust.

yes i would do all these, and i have been doing these.


P:S// i like you alot Y :3

my dearests.

Y;
you can never do whatever you did to me that night again.
it feels excruciatingly horrible.
i remember your promises.
you cant break them.
and you might be a nerd, but you're my nerd.
(L)

JULIE;
idk what happened, but i'll always be here for you.
i hope im not a negativity to you either honey.
the relationship is taking a very heavy toll on you.
please turn to me when you need someone.
i promise i'll always be there for you sweetheart.

NIZAM;
come back soon, we must celebrate our belated birthdays D:
we promised each other already.
i won't see you online that much anymore either, cos you're now,
at the other side of the world.
im gonna miss you.
*hugs*

BIG PEOPLE.

it sucks to be big.
i dont support that big is gorgeous.
for some girls, big IS gorgeous.
for others like me, its far from that.
its ugly and horrible.
if youre not skinny, you might as well die in the outside world.
face it girls, stop lying to yourself.
dont think that big is the new in thing.
it might be, but its going very slowly.
how many of you are happy being big ?
honestly?
thats how i feel.
it SUCKS to be big.
it sucks big time.
i hate hate being fat.
like f said, image is EVERYTHING.
in a band, in the business, in a relationship, in everything.
i have only complained but done no actions.
its been what, six years?
damn thats long.
im sick of being big. i swear i am.
im gonna show people i can lose weight, and i will lose weight.
i wont discriminate people,
i wont become stuck up like most.

SHERYL;
do not retake your Os honey.
you have a choice.
sure you might've screwed up one paper.
but please don't give up yet.
it is not worth it.
so many things will change.
they might even make social studies a compuslory subject next year or smthg.
we will go to poly/JC together.
and we are gonna enjoy the after Os days.

PRISSY;
you have beautiful curves.
youre not fat.
youre medium.
which is very good.
like you said, guys go for dadadadadada.
go out on dates!
stop cancelling them.
you know you deserve it.
most of all, dont cancel dates with me ogay :C
heheh.
see you soon love, shoppinggggg! :D

maid's beginning to lie a lot.
i'm beginning to know you more too.
yeh the bad side.
typical dude, TYPICAL.
mm, you don't read anyways.
so whatever.

papers i have left:
literature,
science MCQ.

and im not gonna study either.
cos' i don't.

and im not gonna ask people out anymore.
it's up to them to ask me.
cos when i ask them, they get all superior and shit.
ala dumb la ok?
okay maybe i will, those close ones.
other than that, i'm gonna go out everyday after Os
to town and stone.

though i want company.
i'll have my DSi for company.
and mortisha.
and i'll do new things to me.
so okaythxbai.





who's going for escapade at SP?
14 nov, 7 pm to 7 am.
if you are, please text me.
if you are helping out, please text me as well.
asap, ty.

so farhan and i are ok now.
yes that's very good news for me thankyouverymuch.
and i've been studying with dan for two consecutive days.
i reeeallly like studying with him.
cos' he's so nice and we can smoke together.
and farhan and dan and i are going out to celebrate my belated birthday and i CANNOT wait :D
i swear NOTHING can ruin it, and nothing will.

no mood to study anymore.
i suck bad.
sigh ):

F, you said you returned the damn book.
wth dude, stop your crap and just return.
you're not paying the fine, i am.
and it ain't about the money.
it's about your bloody irresponsibility.
i know you won't give me my ten bucks back.
so just return the damn book!
why the hell is it so hard to do?
seriously dude, it's like a bloody brainless thing to do.
if you don't wanna return the book,
than meet me and i can return it myself.
you're being bloody unfair ffs.

ive been blog hopping.
i just realised girls actually boast about how many guys they hang out with.
or how fast they change boyfriends.
and they misuse the three words ILOVEYOU
you give girls a bad reputation.

why wont singapore just sink now.

i want Os to end NOW.

i wanna go out now.

i miss your voice, why wont you pick up ):

fcuk love.
i still dont believe in it.

i really love this girl <3

things i really want (to do) :
1. shisha naaooooo.
2. form an acoustic two piece band.
3. a boyfriend (yes despo)
4. shopping.
5. new wardrobe.
6. burn up alllll books and papers relating to studies.
7. organize a chalet.
8. shopping dates.
9. lose 15kg.
10. get max 13 points for O levels.
11. go out on a date with Y.
12. hang out with tiara, dhabitha, linli, sibel, fadilah, julie and moreee.
13. stop my emotional drama bullshit.
14. get into NP's FMS. or TP.

i dont wanna think anymore.
i've english paper in a few hours.
i've to do another seven drawings of elements for arts by today.
i do not have time.
why?
cos now i'm studying for english.
and after that i have maths tuition at night.
i need my maxim and Y now. ):

i really like you Y. (L)

IM FAT. look.
stop telling me im not, cos i know i am.
and if you still think im not fat, ty (:


P:S// i really miss your voice baby :C

happy deepavali (:
i think it's probably the only time alll my relatives come together.

'O' levels is in five days.
not including practical, nine.

when i looked at a physics paper,
i swear i couldn't answer a single question.
i'm gonna repeat O levels, i just know it.

i shall not post anymore till four weeks later. and i was born a hxc loner.

saturday, thanks A.
thanks a lot.
i feel like the dumbest asshole.
thank you.
you're a typical mfer.
fck you and your words.

sunday, thanks mom.
you made me do errands on my birthday.
but you cheered me up in the end.
ily <3

whats the price of being obese and ugly?
HAPPINESS, that's what.

i hate 11 october, i hate my birthday.
today felt nothing close to my birthday.

can't wait for tomorrow (:
i hope nothing screws up.

this is bull shit

i can't have a life without my mother stalking me.
she called me a slut, cause i sweared a lot.
thanks mom.
please leave me alone.

i think i'm going to delete facebook soon.
this is called being under pressure.

when people have their O levels.
their mothers are at their nicest.
they give them the freedom they need.
they do not pressurize them.
they do not scold them.
they do not blame them and bring them down.
they do not say mean stuff.
they do not they do not they do not.
but my mom thinks it's okay to pressurize me.
cos' im having my most crucial year, she must come and do this to me.
it's not making me work harder mother,
it's making me feel more shitty and horrible and miserable.
YES MISERABLE.
why can't you just be a nice mother and let me be.
you think the way you treat me is ok?
HELL NO.
if i wanna mess around, let me be.
i am NOT a slut.
so don't call me that.
i always wish you'd try a little harder to understand.
why can't you?
your mother never did this to you.
why must you do it to me?
in what way do you think this will help?
please STOP IT!
if you don't want to see your daughter turn into a hardcore delinquent.
back off.
back off now.
leave me alone.
i'm not stupid.
i know how important O levels is.
stop saying i don't show that this is important to me.
i don't have to show you anything.
you pick the slightest fight with me.
why?
just cause you wanna vent your anger out?
please stop it mother.
please.
just leave me alone.