second post for the day.
to all freaking ah lians.
im sick of your act cute shit lah.
quit copying ppl who you can match up to.
septum piercings & snakebites?
who you trying to kid?
you'll be or squeeling & screeching
when you get em.
& start crying w your boyfs'
beside comforting you in twit language.
stick to your own fugly fashion.
dont spoil other people's image.
you make me fucking puke.

today has been rather boring.
i find wasting my whole day on ston-ism.
is utter bullshit.
my parents know i WONT study even if im home.
so why dont they just make me a little happier,
by letting me go out ?
so anw, now, im webcamming w twins.
NEWPAIROFTWINNS:D
maryjane & rayyan!
so cute lah!
big eyes:D
0.0
i miss prisusu.
i miss cassie twinneh.
i miss kiddi khaos bestest bestiee.
i miss ang peisheng.
i miss sofeee bestie.
i miss arshad.(who's moving to aussie soon, arse)
i miss billie.(faster come back from swit lahsxz!)
i miss alot of people!
sigh.
people pls ask me out.
& if you still care, pls call me & ask me whats wrong.
everyone says they'll alw be there.
but most of the time, you gimme doubts.
on whether you ARE really there.
or just saying you are.
you changing subject & giving me that,
"shuddup & stop whinning look" alr tells me.
you dont wish to hear my rantings.
sigh.
imma nagging ranting bullshitting machine
than dont have an off button.








a song by imran.


15. I Want To Be That Somebody You Hold Under The Stars

So suddenly, they were holding hands
Just yesterday, they started as best friends
When the light goes out, he hugged her close and holds her tight
He swears he will do whatever it takes to make this right

And the smile on her face, brought the stars back to life
They’ve been dreaming about this, “I’m not gonna let you go”
“But before this could happen, I want to go somewhere”
“I want to go to Paris”, “I promise, I’ll take you there”

They walked towards the park, as they began to say, “I do”
She whispered in his ear, “Honey, thanks for making my wish come true”
“I gave you my heart, right from the start”
“But I want to be that somebody you hold under the stars”
With a tear in her eye, he hugged her close and holds her tight
He says he will do anything to make this feel alright

And there they are, hanging out at the fountain side
Catching fireflies and letting them go as stars
And Paris isn’t that far, no matter where you are
They lay down like butterflies and when butterflies do.
He wrote on the sky with stars, saying “I love you”

*edited//

this is to jenna jengjeng.

i miss you terribly.

idk if you'll see this.

but i really do.

i miss the times where we would

just talk & talk & talk like idiots.

but now, you just seem to ignore me,

ALOT.

do you hate me tht much?

what happened.

pls ans me.

pls tell me smthg.

your ignorance is killing me.

i miss you bestie D':

this post is gonna be long.
it's all to my beloveds.
firstly.
its going out to prisusu bestie.
im really sorry i wasn't there sooner.
though idk if you still treat me tht close.
but i alw have.
i still rmbr th shoe spree & milo dino[:
i didn't really talk to you much last few weeks/months
cus i felt left out.
as in like ron was alw there w u.
like th other time w dee & fannie.
ron & you were tgt.
i felt soo, ugh. idk.
maybe jealousy?
HA.
but i never expected him t be like tht.
like seriously.
you 2 seemed so lovey dovey!
okeh, im nt gna rub anymore salt into the wound.
but please know that,
i'll alw be there for you[:
even if there's another guy.
i want you to know that i'll alw be tht listening ear for you!
no guy is worth a girls' tear.
& im sure there's more prawns to catch[:
big huge juicy ones[:




cassie, my twinneh.
bby, im sorry for opening my big mouth.
sigh, i feel so useless.
yes small things swallow me whole.
i felt really sad when you didn't bother asking me bout piercings.
you know how much i loved doing em'.
well tht was before you knew it got confiscated.
im sorry i blew you off abt your hip piercing.
i've alw been wanting to get back t tht.
but now i hardly get to see you.
imysssssm.
it's infinite.
i never knew tht it'll affect you tht badly.
im really sorry D:
i feel like a terrible friend, moreover twin.
i feel like sewing my mouth shut.
thanks t this small thing,
you dont tell me much anymore.
you dont open up to me.
i wished i stayed in changi.
i wouldnt mind sleeping outside your house during tht 10 days.
thts how much i ♥ you!
you mean everything to me.
you&kid&&jenna&sof are the utmost important ppl in my life.
most of the time when im having trouble talking to them.
i'll go to you.
cus i know you would know what to say.
you're my TWIN! you would know esp well how i feel.
im really sorry.
but i really dont want us to hide anything from each other.
right now, i know you are hiding stuff from me.
& am crying as i type this out.
i really miss you badly twinneh.
pls forgive me D:
ilyvm.





kiddi khaos, bffffff.
imyvm.
i miss the times we spent.
being single.
gg ard cityhall like idiots.
i know i said this before.
i know i broke my promises.
many a time.
sometimes, you wna say whats best for me.
but dont, in fear of me thinking youre a naggy old woman, yes ?
every word you say means smthg to me[:
youre my bestie!
like bestest bestie!
i dont wna loose you.
just cus' of our busy schedules & boyfs.
i dont want to repeat everything i had w my other besties.
who treated me like shit.
& backstabbed me till i bled.
i know you aren't those kinda ppl.
i'm soo happy you can actually tolerate my kinda shit[:
words cant express my gratitude to you my bestest ever ever bestie[:
bestie, ILYVM HON.







aft all these, i wish there was someone there for me right now.
sigh, i've lost all hope.
even you God.

lotsa shit has been happening[:
i know my dearest bestest bestie alw reads this stinko blog[:
& i rmbred yst was the absolute worst day of my life.
oh so whatever.
goodbye ♥
im prob not gonna use this till like another
298712387643209813978624876 days later.

MY KIND OF PEOPLE.

what are you trying to say.

im sorry its so hard for me to change.

but i am trying to.

for you.

but dont you think you saying MY KIND OF PEOPLE is a little too far?

yes you hate them.

but you DONT have to express to me how much you ABHOR them right ?

i have no rights to tell people what kinda music they should like.

i have no rights to judge people.

i have no rights to do ALOT OF THINGS as a human being.

but first of all, you yourself have no rights to LABEL us.

you cant even accept me!

i swear i am trying to change.

but you just dont seem to see it.

instead, you had to say all that.

you alw make me cry so hard i just feel like cutting myself.

im not trying to sound all fucking emo shit.

but inflicting pain on myself is the only way i CAN take away the emotional pain.

im typing this all here instead via sms cus part of me want u to read this,

part of me dont.

so well it's up to you to read this or not.

sat, we're spilling everything out.

TWINNEH! I CAN HELP YOU DO ALL YOUR FACIAL PIERCINGS:D & IM SOO SORRY ABOUT BACKING OUT THE LAST MIN FOR YOUR HIP PIERCINGS!

okeh.
first of all.
im sorry for saying your band mates are stubborn.
i know i promised you that i will shuddup when it comes to your kinda music.
so yes, it's my fault.
but you didnt have to talk about OUR music.
or about dragonforce.
& whats wrong w how we talk?
we are stubborn.
we LOVE to alw be right.
we ALL are stubborn.
thats a fact you cant deny.
but you didnt have to act that way right?
by ignoring me it all helped?
did you feel better peisheng?
im sure you did.
& when the skateboard hit my leg,
did it even fucking occured to you that my leg would fucking hurt?
i guess not.
to you it's prob a small thing.
but now it's fucking swelling thankyou.
thankyou for your CONCERN.
did you even think it'll affect me one bit?
im crying while typing out this STUPID shitty fucking post.
you cant alw get your right of way.
aft leaving just like that,
did you even think how it would make me feel?
aft one whole freaking week of not seeing your love one.
he comes showing you attitude w/i an hour.
i'm sorry for not understanding you.
bout you dont seem to understand me either.
well whatever, if you ACTUALLY read this,
text me or smthg.
goodbye peisheng.

to mama:

you pile me w alot of tuition w/o even consulting me.

i dont even have time for my friends.

you've absolutely ruined my social life.

& i only shouted back cause you were screaming in the car & hitting me like fuck.

for your information, it fucking hurts.

my arm was bloody red with blood dots on it, thankyou for hitting me so hard.

thankyou for showing me what a nice mother you are.

you yourself have no rights to scream at me.

i swear my ear drum almost burst.

ya you think this is OH SO GOOD FOR ME.

but i dont think so.

its MY life.

cant i just lead my own life?

please.

stop all these.

you're just making me hate you more.

you're just making me think you hate me more.

stop all this.

you might not know the real me.

ya you're my mother.

but you treat me like your freaking punching bag.

you alw vent your anger out on me.

who am i?

im your FREAKING DAUGHTER la.

no mother in the right mind will whack the daughter so hard.

idk & i DONT wna know why you did all that.

but seriously, dont push it.

the more you do it.

the more i just wanna rebel.

you were a teenager once.

im sure your mother DID let you go out.

& let you lead YOUR OWN life.

stop running mine.

all you're doing is hurting me emotionally.

second part to the post:

to friend i;

though you'll never read my blog.

here goes..

just cause i dont wear band tees are apply thick eyeliner.

& that i suck at differentiating core core music.

& i hardly know any HARDCORE bands.

you just treat me like fuck.

what the hell am i to you ?

ya you so called FRIEND.

like wtf?

screw you __

now you dont even realise i still exist.

im dead now lah.

third part:

to my dearest someone.

you alw tell me you're soo busy.

but when i read your post, you dont seem that busy at all.

it's so friggin hard to ask you out.

like come on, im not that dumb.

im sorry im so stubborn.

i know you have your other friends.

i mean nthg to you.

that T word is just a label.

i get it alr.

you dont need me.

you have so many other close buddys around you.

im just some freaking bystander.

so anw ppl, if you wna read my so called p.blog,

just ask me for the link.

today is the worst day, sigh.

I MISS YOU PATIENCE!

i dont even have time for you.

im sorry.

i know you won't read this cus you wouldn't know about the blog.

but i suck at expressing my love.

i love you super deep.

i love you more than you love me.

sigh.

twinneh, you seemed a lil diff the other time.
what happened to your p.blog ?
i love reading it.
i really do.


yst went out w patience, kid & shaz.
shaz is my new darla!:D
♥
tmrw gg out w them again, tgt w teehee trasher!
dyan, imyvm lahsxz.
&& alvina, you everytime last min cant go mansxzD:

this sat, truth & dare w kai & kid & patience!:D
yay,
i seriously cant wait maansxz.

my life is just so fucking screwed right now.

every night i cry myself to sleep.

idk why.

i wna scream it out so badly.

i wna tell someone right NOW.

the longer i hold back the closer i am to jumping down.

i swear i will.

i'm trying to be someone i'm not.

wth?

idk when i should open my mouth.

im loosing friends like pouring rain.

im loosing my family like dropping hair.

i swear no one knows how feel.

the screaming tragedy burning in me.

im not trying to be some emo fuckturd.

i dont slit my wrist.

i dont write dying poems of the cruelity of life.

i dont write suicidal notes.

i dont wear 7 layers of foundation.

i dont have thick eyeliner.

i dont think emo should be hated anws.

im nt freaking emo.

i miss alot of people.

i miss being a small child.

not knowing so much lies&secrets my family hides from me.

i rather NOT know.

than know so much.

i feel like a freaking loser.

i feel beyond fucked.

idk anything anymore.

so much things suddenly happen.

deaths, truths.

i hate truths.

the feeling really sucks, once you know that thing.

some say, it's so bad you'll die of a heart attack.

yeh, i want tht to happen to me now.

the feeling is unexplainable.

I AM DHARSHY DORKY & I AM SO PATIENT.

few more mins & im off to choir!

lol.

yes i join choir thankyou[:

im in school now.

yst was nice[;

met boyf, kiddi & kai.

DOUBLE K!

met cassie twinneh for a while along w claire darla & her boyf, calvin & samsonn!

SAMSON PIERCED HIS SEPTUM!
like finally[:

& i was supposed to pierce for him maansxz.

so anw, kiddi & kai left cus he had to fetch his bro home.

than sat at the stairs w boyf[:

ilyvm hunnehh.
:D

ahahahah.

& we are soo meeting this fri again.

last sunday, met kiddi & ash.

ash, you were supposed to come yst mansxz.

what happened ?

fri you better come.

[:

& tmrw i have NOTHING!

kiddi, pls come to my house[:

ily my ultimate bestest bestie:D

& thurs i have maths supp-o D:

& im starting to miss him.

&& im piercing for laureninini on friday.

& theres BANDZOUT! at nyp this fri at 5[:

who wants to go ? :D

msg meeeeee!

fai, wth happend lah.

yeh you wont read it.

but imyvm, i really do.

you're my bestest listening ear.

you try to cheer me up alot, thankyou.

but now you're gone.

sigh.