second post for the day.
to all freaking ah lians.
im sick of your act cute shit lah.
quit copying ppl who you can match up to.
septum piercings & snakebites?
who you trying to kid?
you'll be or squeeling & screeching
when you get em.
& start crying w your boyfs'
beside comforting you in twit language.
stick to your own fugly fashion.
dont spoil other people's image.
you make me fucking puke.

today has been rather boring.
i find wasting my whole day on ston-ism.
is utter bullshit.
my parents know i WONT study even if im home.
so why dont they just make me a little happier,
by letting me go out ?
so anw, now, im webcamming w twins.
NEWPAIROFTWINNS:D
maryjane & rayyan!
so cute lah!
big eyes:D
0.0
i miss prisusu.
i miss cassie twinneh.
i miss kiddi khaos bestest bestiee.
i miss ang peisheng.
i miss sofeee bestie.
i miss arshad.(who's moving to aussie soon, arse)
i miss billie.(faster come back from swit lahsxz!)
i miss alot of people!
sigh.
people pls ask me out.
& if you still care, pls call me & ask me whats wrong.
everyone says they'll alw be there.
but most of the time, you gimme doubts.
on whether you ARE really there.
or just saying you are.
you changing subject & giving me that,
"shuddup & stop whinning look" alr tells me.
you dont wish to hear my rantings.
sigh.
imma nagging ranting bullshitting machine
than dont have an off button.








a song by imran.


15. I Want To Be That Somebody You Hold Under The Stars

So suddenly, they were holding hands
Just yesterday, they started as best friends
When the light goes out, he hugged her close and holds her tight
He swears he will do whatever it takes to make this right

And the smile on her face, brought the stars back to life
They’ve been dreaming about this, “I’m not gonna let you go”
“But before this could happen, I want to go somewhere”
“I want to go to Paris”, “I promise, I’ll take you there”

They walked towards the park, as they began to say, “I do”
She whispered in his ear, “Honey, thanks for making my wish come true”
“I gave you my heart, right from the start”
“But I want to be that somebody you hold under the stars”
With a tear in her eye, he hugged her close and holds her tight
He says he will do anything to make this feel alright

And there they are, hanging out at the fountain side
Catching fireflies and letting them go as stars
And Paris isn’t that far, no matter where you are
They lay down like butterflies and when butterflies do.
He wrote on the sky with stars, saying “I love you”

*edited//

this is to jenna jengjeng.

i miss you terribly.

idk if you'll see this.

but i really do.

i miss the times where we would

just talk & talk & talk like idiots.

but now, you just seem to ignore me,

ALOT.

do you hate me tht much?

what happened.

pls ans me.

pls tell me smthg.

your ignorance is killing me.

i miss you bestie D':

this post is gonna be long.
it's all to my beloveds.
firstly.
its going out to prisusu bestie.
im really sorry i wasn't there sooner.
though idk if you still treat me tht close.
but i alw have.
i still rmbr th shoe spree & milo dino[:
i didn't really talk to you much last few weeks/months
cus i felt left out.
as in like ron was alw there w u.
like th other time w dee & fannie.
ron & you were tgt.
i felt soo, ugh. idk.
maybe jealousy?
HA.
but i never expected him t be like tht.
like seriously.
you 2 seemed so lovey dovey!
okeh, im nt gna rub anymore salt into the wound.
but please know that,
i'll alw be there for you[:
even if there's another guy.
i want you to know that i'll alw be tht listening ear for you!
no guy is worth a girls' tear.
& im sure there's more prawns to catch[:
big huge juicy ones[:




cassie, my twinneh.
bby, im sorry for opening my big mouth.
sigh, i feel so useless.
yes small things swallow me whole.
i felt really sad when you didn't bother asking me bout piercings.
you know how much i loved doing em'.
well tht was before you knew it got confiscated.
im sorry i blew you off abt your hip piercing.
i've alw been wanting to get back t tht.
but now i hardly get to see you.
imysssssm.
it's infinite.
i never knew tht it'll affect you tht badly.
im really sorry D:
i feel like a terrible friend, moreover twin.
i feel like sewing my mouth shut.
thanks t this small thing,
you dont tell me much anymore.
you dont open up to me.
i wished i stayed in changi.
i wouldnt mind sleeping outside your house during tht 10 days.
thts how much i ♥ you!
you mean everything to me.
you&kid&&jenna&sof are the utmost important ppl in my life.
most of the time when im having trouble talking to them.
i'll go to you.
cus i know you would know what to say.
you're my TWIN! you would know esp well how i feel.
im really sorry.
but i really dont want us to hide anything from each other.
right now, i know you are hiding stuff from me.
& am crying as i type this out.
i really miss you badly twinneh.
pls forgive me D:
ilyvm.





kiddi khaos, bffffff.
imyvm.
i miss the times we spent.
being single.
gg ard cityhall like idiots.
i know i said this before.
i know i broke my promises.
many a time.
sometimes, you wna say whats best for me.
but dont, in fear of me thinking youre a naggy old woman, yes ?
every word you say means smthg to me[:
youre my bestie!
like bestest bestie!
i dont wna loose you.
just cus' of our busy schedules & boyfs.
i dont want to repeat everything i had w my other besties.
who treated me like shit.
& backstabbed me till i bled.
i know you aren't those kinda ppl.
i'm soo happy you can actually tolerate my kinda shit[:
words cant express my gratitude to you my bestest ever ever bestie[:
bestie, ILYVM HON.







aft all these, i wish there was someone there for me right now.
sigh, i've lost all hope.
even you God.

lotsa shit has been happening[:
i know my dearest bestest bestie alw reads this stinko blog[:
& i rmbred yst was the absolute worst day of my life.
oh so whatever.
goodbye ♥
im prob not gonna use this till like another
298712387643209813978624876 days later.

MY KIND OF PEOPLE.

what are you trying to say.

im sorry its so hard for me to change.

but i am trying to.

for you.

but dont you think you saying MY KIND OF PEOPLE is a little too far?

yes you hate them.

but you DONT have to express to me how much you ABHOR them right ?

i have no rights to tell people what kinda music they should like.

i have no rights to judge people.

i have no rights to do ALOT OF THINGS as a human being.

but first of all, you yourself have no rights to LABEL us.

you cant even accept me!

i swear i am trying to change.

but you just dont seem to see it.

instead, you had to say all that.

you alw make me cry so hard i just feel like cutting myself.

im not trying to sound all fucking emo shit.

but inflicting pain on myself is the only way i CAN take away the emotional pain.

im typing this all here instead via sms cus part of me want u to read this,

part of me dont.

so well it's up to you to read this or not.

sat, we're spilling everything out.

TWINNEH! I CAN HELP YOU DO ALL YOUR FACIAL PIERCINGS:D & IM SOO SORRY ABOUT BACKING OUT THE LAST MIN FOR YOUR HIP PIERCINGS!

okeh.
first of all.
im sorry for saying your band mates are stubborn.
i know i promised you that i will shuddup when it comes to your kinda music.
so yes, it's my fault.
but you didnt have to talk about OUR music.
or about dragonforce.
& whats wrong w how we talk?
we are stubborn.
we LOVE to alw be right.
we ALL are stubborn.
thats a fact you cant deny.
but you didnt have to act that way right?
by ignoring me it all helped?
did you feel better peisheng?
im sure you did.
& when the skateboard hit my leg,
did it even fucking occured to you that my leg would fucking hurt?
i guess not.
to you it's prob a small thing.
but now it's fucking swelling thankyou.
thankyou for your CONCERN.
did you even think it'll affect me one bit?
im crying while typing out this STUPID shitty fucking post.
you cant alw get your right of way.
aft leaving just like that,
did you even think how it would make me feel?
aft one whole freaking week of not seeing your love one.
he comes showing you attitude w/i an hour.
i'm sorry for not understanding you.
bout you dont seem to understand me either.
well whatever, if you ACTUALLY read this,
text me or smthg.
goodbye peisheng.

to mama:

you pile me w alot of tuition w/o even consulting me.

i dont even have time for my friends.

you've absolutely ruined my social life.

& i only shouted back cause you were screaming in the car & hitting me like fuck.

for your information, it fucking hurts.

my arm was bloody red with blood dots on it, thankyou for hitting me so hard.

thankyou for showing me what a nice mother you are.

you yourself have no rights to scream at me.

i swear my ear drum almost burst.

ya you think this is OH SO GOOD FOR ME.

but i dont think so.

its MY life.

cant i just lead my own life?

please.

stop all these.

you're just making me hate you more.

you're just making me think you hate me more.

stop all this.

you might not know the real me.

ya you're my mother.

but you treat me like your freaking punching bag.

you alw vent your anger out on me.

who am i?

im your FREAKING DAUGHTER la.

no mother in the right mind will whack the daughter so hard.

idk & i DONT wna know why you did all that.

but seriously, dont push it.

the more you do it.

the more i just wanna rebel.

you were a teenager once.

im sure your mother DID let you go out.

& let you lead YOUR OWN life.

stop running mine.

all you're doing is hurting me emotionally.

second part to the post:

to friend i;

though you'll never read my blog.

here goes..

just cause i dont wear band tees are apply thick eyeliner.

& that i suck at differentiating core core music.

& i hardly know any HARDCORE bands.

you just treat me like fuck.

what the hell am i to you ?

ya you so called FRIEND.

like wtf?

screw you __

now you dont even realise i still exist.

im dead now lah.

third part:

to my dearest someone.

you alw tell me you're soo busy.

but when i read your post, you dont seem that busy at all.

it's so friggin hard to ask you out.

like come on, im not that dumb.

im sorry im so stubborn.

i know you have your other friends.

i mean nthg to you.

that T word is just a label.

i get it alr.

you dont need me.

you have so many other close buddys around you.

im just some freaking bystander.

so anw ppl, if you wna read my so called p.blog,

just ask me for the link.

today is the worst day, sigh.

I MISS YOU PATIENCE!

i dont even have time for you.

im sorry.

i know you won't read this cus you wouldn't know about the blog.

but i suck at expressing my love.

i love you super deep.

i love you more than you love me.

sigh.

twinneh, you seemed a lil diff the other time.
what happened to your p.blog ?
i love reading it.
i really do.


yst went out w patience, kid & shaz.
shaz is my new darla!:D
♥
tmrw gg out w them again, tgt w teehee trasher!
dyan, imyvm lahsxz.
&& alvina, you everytime last min cant go mansxzD:

this sat, truth & dare w kai & kid & patience!:D
yay,
i seriously cant wait maansxz.

my life is just so fucking screwed right now.

every night i cry myself to sleep.

idk why.

i wna scream it out so badly.

i wna tell someone right NOW.

the longer i hold back the closer i am to jumping down.

i swear i will.

i'm trying to be someone i'm not.

wth?

idk when i should open my mouth.

im loosing friends like pouring rain.

im loosing my family like dropping hair.

i swear no one knows how feel.

the screaming tragedy burning in me.

im not trying to be some emo fuckturd.

i dont slit my wrist.

i dont write dying poems of the cruelity of life.

i dont write suicidal notes.

i dont wear 7 layers of foundation.

i dont have thick eyeliner.

i dont think emo should be hated anws.

im nt freaking emo.

i miss alot of people.

i miss being a small child.

not knowing so much lies&secrets my family hides from me.

i rather NOT know.

than know so much.

i feel like a freaking loser.

i feel beyond fucked.

idk anything anymore.

so much things suddenly happen.

deaths, truths.

i hate truths.

the feeling really sucks, once you know that thing.

some say, it's so bad you'll die of a heart attack.

yeh, i want tht to happen to me now.

the feeling is unexplainable.

I AM DHARSHY DORKY & I AM SO PATIENT.

few more mins & im off to choir!

lol.

yes i join choir thankyou[:

im in school now.

yst was nice[;

met boyf, kiddi & kai.

DOUBLE K!

met cassie twinneh for a while along w claire darla & her boyf, calvin & samsonn!

SAMSON PIERCED HIS SEPTUM!
like finally[:

& i was supposed to pierce for him maansxz.

so anw, kiddi & kai left cus he had to fetch his bro home.

than sat at the stairs w boyf[:

ilyvm hunnehh.
:D

ahahahah.

& we are soo meeting this fri again.

last sunday, met kiddi & ash.

ash, you were supposed to come yst mansxz.

what happened ?

fri you better come.

[:

& tmrw i have NOTHING!

kiddi, pls come to my house[:

ily my ultimate bestest bestie:D

& thurs i have maths supp-o D:

& im starting to miss him.

&& im piercing for laureninini on friday.

& theres BANDZOUT! at nyp this fri at 5[:

who wants to go ? :D

msg meeeeee!

fai, wth happend lah.

yeh you wont read it.

but imyvm, i really do.

you're my bestest listening ear.

you try to cheer me up alot, thankyou.

but now you're gone.

sigh.

& im meeting KIDDI KHAOS my ultimatum bestest bestie & patience boyfie tmrw[:
♥
i've done couple signs alr!
:D
i've been skipping a church alot D:
sigh.
well not exactly skip.
just attending half of it.
what a bitch right ?
gah.


at my cousins place, stoning.
i have nthg to do!
tmrw, piercing!:D
ahahahahah.
idk who still reads my blog.
so dead/.
argh, die dead blog, die.

BANG BANG!
i miss boyd.
i miss cassie.
i miss kiddi khaos.
i miss teehee trasher.
i miss kai slap(kiddi's boyfie siolll.)

you see, i alw start out with the MISSES.
ppl who read tht, ILY:D

&& for ppl to stop asking.
1.my name is DHARSHENI.
it's pronounced as DAR-SHE-NI.
understand?

2.i changed it to dharsh at first.
taking away the ENI.
understand part 2?
if you dont, go bang your head on the wall.

3.but, i decided to change it to dharshy.
its like from point 1, except im taking away NI.
so it'll be dharshe.
but it'll be totally wierd.
but now, come to think of it, it looks nice[:
but no one will know how to pronounce it.
so anw2, its pronounced as DAR-SHE.
so finally understood ??


i have FOOD nicknames[:
dharshy marshy.
dharshy marshmellow.
dharshy donuts.
dharshy fishy.
& my fav, DHARSHY DORKY.
lol:D


& for those ppl who wonder why i look so alien-ish.
its cause im CHINDIAN w a pinch of british:D
perfecto?
yess[:






i miss all the people taking o's lahsxz!
cheeseball, why must ya'll take?
than next year i must.
than year aft tt sure hv another batch.
sigh.
O LEVEL SUCK LAH
cheebai.

HELLO BLOGGEEEE:D
imy.
i miss cassie twinneh!
sigh, i hope you find your darling super sooon laahsxz!
i promise i wont leave you out.
& patience is waiting for you!
imy maansxz D:
IMY!
read this womann.

see you on sunday FANNIE BESTIE:D
you soo hv to tell me about sunday.
must tell me!:D

im in sch,
yes, SECOND/LAST DAY:D
jyeah:D
meeting fannie & billie this friday.
& doing piercings, but i actually lost count.
hmm, i wna set up a P.BLOG:D
ahahah.
it'll be damn fun lah.
can rant like a fucking bitch there[:
tonight, gg for overnight prayer.
hmm, grandmama, IMY D':
i just love typing.
idk why[:
& my tummy is growling.


fannie, im sorry abt yst.
dont get angry k ?
pls tag if u ever read this.
i ♥ you hunneh!
[:


everyone's alw so freaking busy nowadays.
so busy they dont even hv time to reply to my msgs.
these frens i dn wna loose D:
like serious big time.


& some ppl shld just mind their own fucking business.
what i do dont concern you.
since you dont CARE anymore.
why bother screaming at me ?
oh fuck you.


sharul, i seriously dont get your effin drift lah.
TALK TO ME.
dont fucking ignore me.
now you just make me doubt you more & more.


i need a date!
im bored, like ALL the friggin time.


meeting prisusu darl & firrdaooss on thurs:D
preettyy handsome pppl[:
lets go cheenatownnn!:)

last night was terrible!

ahahahahah:D

aft reading cassie's p.blog, i feel so darn stupid.

lol.

imy cassie twinneh!

i seriously do.

i hvn't seen you in somewhat YEARS.

fannie sweetie, i was kinda shock when u said tht out of a sudden.

abt being there through death or life or smthg smthg.

i felt soo touched.:D

i felt like giving you a big big hug yst when i was leaving the mrt.

:D

ohoh fannie, if youre reading this, pls call me asap.

BILLIE BESTIE!

sigh, lets meet up on friday!

i seriously have ALOT ALOT of things to ask you.

dont worry, i'll walk w u through this shiatsxz[:

muaa!

now in sch stoning.

tuition later, zomg, SO TIRING.

so full of crap.

&& hv to stay in sch for 11 hrs.

for today & tmrw.

like wth ?

preparing for my sec3 camp.
WOW.

now i hv absolutely no interest in going.

zero.

four year strong is the best:D

so much for church friends.
so much for being as close to as FRIENDS lah.

okeh, today, CHURCH.
kept dozing off, idk why.
whole day was kinda boring i'd say.
&& all the friggin aching leg.
fannie agrees tooo.


again, im missing so many darn people right now.
no one knows how sensitive abt most stuff.
sigh.
& whats the use of calling people who dont bother answering or calling back ?

today was dead tiring.

slept less than 4 hrs the day before.

sigh.

went ard stinkapore.

was alright, im still tired!

& ive officially lost my voice thankyou.

im dead sick D:

puffy eyes!
argh!

*screams*

& now theres a gig at music garage.

big SIGH.

zomg.

i miss twinneh.

everyday i just think of her.

i ♥ her soo much! (in a non lesbo way)

but idk whats happened.

sigh, i just feel smthg wrong happened.

pls tell me what's happened cassie D:

i wna meet you up!

i promise i'll pay you back your money.

{took last night}

the same thing is happening again.

aft R & P.

now its D & L.

sigh, not like ya'll are gonna read anymore.

so yeh, whatever.

yst was okeh.

met fannie darling[:

the movie was awesome lah[:

kind edmund/edward/ed smthg hot hot HOT.

;D

walked to fareast.

to everyone, cathay to fareast is NOT far.

far is orchard to bugis/haji lane.

orchard to cityhall is still okeh for me :D

muaheheheheheh.

this sunday is soo gonna be a gay day maansxz.

& on wednesday, was FUN:D
i think.

niven, sorry for leaving you out!

ZOMG, sunday, we are soo not leaving you out.

teehee trasher & fannie gorewhore & niven nirvana.

hmm, im soo lazy to do piercings on sunday lah.

moolah! i need em' badly.

now i owe ppl money.

shiatsxz.

& to lina, CHEER UP!

you have meee;D

though we're not close.

& your dirwit is alw there for you!:D

zomg
BREAK LEG BREAK!
i command you to break.
all you've done is give me pins & needles
& friggin cramps.
not to mention TERRIBLE aches all over.
:D

zomg, pls go watch this.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=13a4a045cd290bc2ae2d

waiting for time to pass
with which seems so long.

talking to cassie twinnehh & david now[:
& meanie bottom.

today's sooo boring.
gg to clarke quay later.
so hv to get ready at 5.
which seems so far away D:

tmrw gg out!
sigh, w NO ONE.
thankyou.